what drives you?

What drives you? How can somebody look so effing good but be actually bad on the inside?!? And I don't think that bad is good enough a word to describe what you did!! or what they said you did!!?? You are so totally not worth it!! 

How can you ever function properly when honestly, the only thing that seems to drive you is your hidden insecurity to somebody else which, quite frankly, is already slowly becoming more and more obvious. Dude, you seriously need to think and I mean, think hard!! 'coz obviously, your problems and your issues will, in one way or another become evident!! to me, to you, to them, to all!! Change is key man!! Change before it's too late!! Yeah, it's kind of a now or never thing! Believe me!! 

Insecurity will do you no good man!! Because in the end, IT IS NOT WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! IT IS NOT WHAT WILL EVER MAKE YOU HAPPY!! LIFE IS SHORT, SO WHY LIVE A POINTLESS, CRAPPY, BORING LIFE BASED ON YOUR INSECURITIES?!? 

Let me tell you this, A is A. Will forever be A. B is B. Will also forever be B. And U are U. No matter what you do, how hard you try, U will never be A, B, or whoever else you want to be!! ANd trust me, in trying to be them, YOU ARE WASTING WHO YOU ARE!! And I am sad. I truly am. Because I know you!! I used to BELIEVE IN YOU! I ADMIRED YOU! TALKED ABOUT YOU WITH MUCH RESPECT! TO SOME EXTENT, I WANTED TO BE LIKE YOU! YOU ARE ONE GREAT MAN!! 

You have the capacity to inspire so many. The capacity to turn over the tables. The capacity to win over the hearts of those who doesn't even know you!! PLEASE!! DON'T LET ME THINK THAT THIS IS ALL JUST ONE BIG KA-PLASTIKAN!! DON'T LET ME DOWN!! DON'T LET THEM DOWN!! DON'T LET US DOWN!! 

WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF ALL THE ACHIEVEMENTS, HONORS, RECOGNITIONS, AND WHAT-NOT that you have?? When if you think about it, YOUR LIFE IS SLOWLY BECOMING LONELY. VERY LONELY. AND IF YOU DO REACH THE TOP, WHAT POINT DOES IT MAKE? WHAT SENSE WILL IT HAVE?? WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOU ARE ALL ALONE!! THAT THERE IS NO ONE TO SHARE THAT JOY WITH YOU?? Now I totally understand why you said... 

But there is great opportunity waiting for you. LET THIS JOURNEY BE A LIFE-CHANGING ONE FOR YOU. STOP BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. THINK BEFORE YOU LOOSE US ALL. OPEN YOUR MIND AND JUST ONCE.. EVEN FOR JUST ONE MOMENT.. LISTEN AND SEE WHAT WE'RE MAKING YOU SEE!! 

LIFE IS SHORT MAN. IT TRULY IS. LIVE IT THE WAY YOU WOULDN'T HAVE ANY REGRETS. COZ' IT FEELS CRAPPY WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT AND YOU KNOW THAT IT'S TOO LATE. IT'S JUST TOO LATE. IT'S A CRAPPY FEELING.. I TELL YOU!! 

And how can I be so stupid not to see all of this?!? You know how blind faith sometimes leads us to trouble?!? well, I almost experienced that!! Almost. But not quite!! Blind admiration!! Crap!! Sometimes, what we see is really not what we get!! LOOKS DO DECEIVE YOU!! freaking deceitful!! SCARY. 

But amidst all these, of course, still, I stand by my words dude!! And know that I will always be here for you. ALWAYS. I feel that right now, this is all I can do to help you. to support you and be always ready to help you. To listen. To show you I care. But then again, it's all up to you.. if you want it.. and if you do decide to accept it!! 

I want to be biased. But I can't get myself to be one! I want to help. But I am so effing shocked by this little piece of information!! I try to be calm. I want to be calm. I hope I can be calm..