Believe..

Sometimes, you just have to have faith.. you just got to believe.. Faith is a big word. It's hard to understand much more believe. There are no reasons for having faith.. you just have to have one. Naturally, it is always your prerogative if you do wanna have one. 

In my case, I can't really say that I am big on having faith.. but I know that I do have faith. It is true that it is hard to believe in something esp. when everything else tells you that what you believe in does not exist.. or, at times, that it cannot exist and that it is impossible. But this is what makes having faith so good.. the belief that what you want, no matter how impossible it seems, can and will actually come true. It is a gift. Something that only God can do. Something only God can give us. 

A few days ago, I lost faith.. the belief that I can have something I wanted so bad. And so I asked.. I asked God a lot of why questions.. I asked myself even more why and how questions.. questions that I thought of.. and answered or at least "tried" to answer. I wanted to be "objective" but my human nature always, always forced me to be subjective. I knew it was inappropriate and kind of disrespectful in a way. It was definitely not the way I was brought up by my parents. But I did it nonetheless.. perhaps because I was down and hard-headed.. thinking God-knows-what.. but now I have realized that I was wrong. I am wrong. and I am sorry. Truly sorry. 

And then as I tried to move on and go on to my next plan, there was always something that told me to believe, to have faith. To wait and see. Wait and see... Believe and see.  There was always something that which told me that I cannot possibly loose something I worked so hard for. Much more something I prayed hard for. But much as I wanted to believe, I had nothing to validate my belief.. nothing to hold my faith in myself. And in times like these, I realized that we can only pray. Pray to have faith, pray to be strong, pray to find our direction once again. 

And now it seemed that I spoke too soon. For now I finally got what I wanted. And learned a lot too! I had been successful in this endeavor.. and hopefully, I can continue and perform as expected. 

Now I know that things truly happen for a reason. It is just truly very, very hard to accept when things don't go our way. When our dreams can't be given to us the way we want it. Now I know and truly believe that dreams do come true.. but only if it is really meant to be ours.. only if it is something that we've wanted so much, worked hard for, prayed hard for. Dreams that we can only achieve if we have faith.. so keep having faith and strive to have faith.. even when everything's telling you that there's no sense in having one.. that there's no sense in believing.. Believe and have faith.. coz' everything happens for a reason and at times when we least expect it.. Because only faith and your belief in yourself will help you understand why in life, you win some.. and loose some.