Dearest Anipay..

Dearest Annipay, Tinapay,

why hello you little sister! As you've already heard from everyone in the fam, I AM BACK! YES, SO BACK HOME!! Now, I am once again packing and unpacking my stuff for the nth time coz I paid 3,400 earlier at the airport!! Yes, I am hoping that tomorrow will be better (Read: we can get on the effing Cathay plane already and hopefully, my baggage is not anymore excess!). I am on break at this very moment. Coz my muscles (in the form of fats) and body are aching already! And I don't know what to remove anymore! It breaks my heart that I can't bring A LOT of my favorite stuff! But then again, it kinda makes me happy that I have an excuse to shop!!

Anyway sister, as for the real reason of my blog post dedicated to your TINAPAY-NESS.. this blog is to tell you that a few days from now, I will be going to Shanghai. Yes, it is only for 6 mos. and I have with me my 36 other fellow scholars. But know that we will be in different classes. Meaning, we will pretty much have our own lives separate from each other once we start school in Shanghai. Sounds familiar?? It's pretty much like your condition there in Singapore. Mom told me about your dilemma, yes. And I really intended to write you an email. But my blog will always be here for you to read.. and reread for as much as you want! So, this is really better! Plus, get used to it guys, I will have no FB and YM in China! Sad, I know! I hate it as well!!

Sister, starting out in a different place is tough. It really is. That's kinda like a few years back when mom threw me to go study in La Salle! Remember? I had no friends there. I was in a dorm, alone. Plus, I didn't really know anything about Manila! Except for the trips we have here, I pretty much had a blank slate about life in this city! But then again, I adapted. It wasn't easy, I tell you! And true, there were times I wanted to go back and just run to the comforts of home and of life back in Naga (until now actually, from time to time, believe it or not! there are times when I just wanna go back and leave everything I've put up for myself here!) but NO! because I knew.. and I write this in caps to emphasize, THAT IN WHATEVER DECISION WE MAKE, BE IT GOOD OR BAD, WE NEED TO STAND UP FOR THAT DECISION. IT MAY NOT ALWAYS BE FAVORABLE FOR US, BUT WE NEED TO MAKE IT FAVORABLE TO US. THAT IS ALWAYS THE CHALLENGE THERE! Actually, that is always the challenge in our lives. And trust me, once you are able to that, you will feel so much happiness and accomplishment! And later on, when it all fails, just remember what mama always tells us, that Naga is always our last option. Well, it should be. Because there will always be a life there waiting for us!! But you see, that's not really in the picture here because while Naga will always have a special place in our hearts and will always have special opportunities for us, DO KNOW that the world is always out there for us to conquer!! Yes, sister!! We were not only meant to ROCK ASIA, but also Africa, North and South America, Antarctica, Europe and yes, let's not forget Tazmania Devel, er, I meant Australia!! Sounds conceited?? but yeah.. coz my life is always about ME! The same way your life should ALWAYS be about YOU! ABOUT STANDING UP FOR THE DECISIONS YOU MAKE!!

So now you ask me, how do you do that?? You make friends, yes you can. You shop, you can also do this. But most important little sister, is that you explore. Go out and familiarize yourself with the place. With SG. You say it's boring. But how come most people love it there? That only means something. That only means that there is something there that you still haven't discovered. Go and make friends, yes. But also be okay and awesome alone!! ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT WHILE FRIENDS ARE ALWAYS FUN TO HAVE, OUR MOMENTS ALONE IS JUST AS PRECIOUS, AS MEMORABLE, AS CHERISHABLE.

God gave you a wonderful opportunity other people your age would die for! He gave us all! Do not regret! Regret is what will beat you at this game!

Plan, yes, it's good to have a plan. BUt always, always, be willing to change your gameplan to whatever life has in store for you. To whatever life shows you! Always remember that you don't need others all the time to have a good time. Now, do you see the logic in the way I live my lifE?? You guys call it "aimless" but dude! what's really the point of living a life based on plans if deep inside, you don't get to savor and enjoy each moment in life? If, at the end of the day, you know there's something missing. Where is the challenge when, at the moment you go home, you're dead-tired and beat knowing.. you weren't able to make everything work for your advantage!! That, I say, my little sistah, is the beauty of living a life that is always open to everything. But you know, just make sure YOU KNOW YOUR LIMITS AND BOUNDARIES! YES, ONCE AGAIN, IT's ALL ABOUT YOU!! ALWAYS!!

So mom tells me you're always looking for "happenings" now. She told me that maybe, you feel we're having fun here while you are alone. Well, I don't know if it's true coz Mom, as usual, is freaking out! But I tell you we are not. The only times we are complete are the times you go home here. Yes, "the parents" have pretty much adjusted to their newfound lifestyle. Where, according to papa, "we leave them to explore other worlds for us". True, this is somehow sad that each of us are in different parts of the world. But trust me and believe me when I tell you that.. THE PARENTS ARE PROUD! Your sacrifice in exploring Singapore, my Shanghai, Chesca's weirdo sched, B2's nerdy lifestyle, and B1's awesomeness is making them PROUD!! And, you know how much that means to them, right? Because ever since we were little, they never pressured us to be like this. BUt they always wanted it! Otherwise they wouldn't be the "stage parents" that they've always been.

Do not worry about the "happenings", they will only get better when you have found your real happiness and satisfaction deep inside.

Do not worry about the hardships there, because what doesn't kill you, only makes you a stronger DUDE!

Do not worry about being alone, because.. it is by being alone that you find fulfillment and the chance to get to know yourself better.

Do not worry about being left out in the fam, because I tell you, you are always in the loop! That's why mom's CP bills are way up in the sky!

Do not worry about anything.. coz worrying brings fear..

and once you let fear sink and eat you up,

then boredom and regret comes..

and they're no good company.

coz their only aim is to beat you at life's game!

So now, do you get it already Anipay Tinapay?!? Do you see my point already? coz I have to run in a while and go pack up my stuff. Anytime you need my opinion on stuff (coz you said I'm very opinionated), you know where to reach me. Email me and text me. You're my sister, definitely, I will respond.

So BOTTOMLINE IS THAT NO, I DO NOT SUPPORT YOUR WANT TO GO HOME. IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF THE COST WE HAVE TO PAY. IT REALLY IS NO BIG DEAL. BUT TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU THAT IF YOU DO THAT, YOU WILL REGRET IT SOMEDAY. AND AS YOUR BIG AWESOME AND COOL SISTAH, I DO NOT AND I REFUSE AND I SHALL NOT ALLOW YOU TO WALLOW IN THAT MISERY.

BECAUSE I KNOW YOUR CAPACITIES! AND I KNOW THAT YOU CAN MAKE IT THERE! GIVE IT TIME, LOVE IT THERE! AND YOU'LL SEE.. YOU'LL FIND PEACE!! AND PLEASE!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT TELL ME THAT YOU CANNOT GO WITH THE FLOW AND THE "TRIPPINGS" OF YOUR CLASSMATES THERE! BECAUSE SOMEHOW, I HAVE THIS NOTION.. THAT AS THE DAUGHTER OF "THE PARENTS", IT IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!! DUDE!! PEOPLE COME AND GO IN THE FORM OF DIFF. FORMS IN THE HOUSE!

By the hoo, did you ever know that it took me 1 year to realize my misery in being in Manila, 2 years to get over my nega feelings for Manila, 3 to learn to love and explore this place, 4 to feel like a Manileno, 5 to learn how to live it up here, 6 years to really be happy in this place, and 7 to feel the need and want to search for a new place to explore because I feel so sick of this life already!

So what you're feeling now, is normal! Someday, you will want to explore another place. Once you've successfully gotten over this whole SIngapore bruhaha, then, that's the time you'll feel much more CONFIDENT to go ahead and pursue your IVY PLANS!

Think about it man! how can you live it up in the States with your Ivy plans, if this lil stint of yours in Singa is just gonna beat you this early?!?!?! So NO!! DO NOT LET IT BEAT YAH!! Pull a Michael Jackson sister!! You know, "just beat it.. beat it.."

xoxo,

Achi.