after the dress rehearsal

Think silver lining, think JLC!! Yes, that was what I told myself! Everyone in the fam laughed! It really is hilarious, my experience!

So I called mom to pick me up once again. Never thought 5 mos. can be as fast as 5 hours! Then we went home. Last instruction of Ms. Joey was to wait for their text early morning if we can leave the next day late afternoon via other airlines. I only had one problem here. The update was supposed to come in "first thing in the morning", and I am definitely not a morning person! Big problem!!

But I got my refund for my excess baggage, yes! And so upon arriving home I unpacked. And repacked my stuff hoping I can take off that extra 9.7kg. But NO! I only removed 3 pieces of tops. If I remove some more, I'm probably gonna be cloth-less in Shanghai. And that is just wrong. Bad, bad, bad idea! Seriously!

So I waited, and waited. Mom forced me to wake up at 10AM. I also woke up because I was hungry! Bad feeling if you ask me. While waiting I decided to go OL. Maybe, to cherish my last day on FB. Then, I received the mail. YES, WE ARE ONCE AGAIN READY TO LEAVE.

Our flight was rescheduled. Thus, we will be flying to Shanghai tom. (Feb. 25, Thurs.) at 8AM via a special flight made possible by Cebu Pacific. And this time, I am really hoping that this is NO DRESS REHEARSAL! Because my body aches like crazy already! I am afraid, and mom is afraid also, that flu's gonna beat me in Shanghai. And that can't really happen. Coz when I'm sick, I AM SICK! And that's just bad. Coz there's no mom or Che Jeremy or whoever to take care of me there in Shanghai!

So tom. again I guess. And if that pushes through, tomorrow is gonna be one long day!! And as for my baggage, well I've pretty much decided to just let it be and make Cebu Pacific a few thousand pesos richer!! Period.

first Shanghai encounter, a dress rehearsal

Flight to Shanghai was supposed to be February 23 (yesterday) at 8:20PM. We were gonna meet up at 4:30 coz we're a big group. As usual, and needless to say, I was late! I arrived at 5:15! But take note please, somebody arrived later than that!!

Check-in was no easy thing since we were 22!! So many people had excess baggage! It was just a matter of how many the excess was. So we were called.. the EB babes! Get it?? And in the search for the winner.. Who would've thought that yours truly emerged as one of the top EB babes with a baggage of 29.7kg!! We were only allowed to bring 20kg and so I had to pay excess. With discount and stuff, I paid 3,400 all in all. That's 200 pesos less than what you'd ordinarily pay. More on my baggage problem in my next blog perhaps!

So next step was immigration. I was already starting to think that this is definitely, by far, the longest time I spent in long lines and what-nots! Definitely a "rehearsal" for China. Immigration was fast. But the line was long!! and so that took so much of our time!

Done with immigration, we went to grab a quick dinner as Cebu Pacific doesn't really provide food on board. So while I was eating with Sol, Christine, Sigh, and Celcius, we kinda talked about going to Walmart the next day while waiting for the second batch to arrive since we had to buy stuff. Yes, with my 29.7kg baggage, I still had so much stuff to buy in the grocery. So we talked and planned to go sometime after dinner? Perhaps.

It was almost 7:50, boarding time. While waiting to board, I was also texting up people, thanking them for the surprises and well-wishes as well as my new number. I was also preparing to change into my rubber shoes coz it's cold in the plane and in Shanghai. And then a girl on the microphone announced something. But since I was putting on my shoe, I didn't mind. That was, until Sol said (as well as the airport dudes sitting nearby) THAT THE FLIGHT TO SHANGHAI WAS CANCELLED DUE TO BAD WEATHER CONDITIONS! READ: IT WAS ZERO VISIBILITY IN SHANGHAI!!

Oh life, you must be kidding me!! Now my body aches like crazy!! And my head is so confused already with thinking about the stuff I can still remove from my uber big luggage! MR. WEATHER, YOU ARE ONE TRICKY DUDE!!

And so there goes my first Shanghai encounter friends! One big "dress rehearsal" at the airport! But it's okay. coz now I can watch JLC!! That is, once I manage to drag myself out of this house!!

Dearest Anipay..

Dearest Annipay, Tinapay,

why hello you little sister! As you've already heard from everyone in the fam, I AM BACK! YES, SO BACK HOME!! Now, I am once again packing and unpacking my stuff for the nth time coz I paid 3,400 earlier at the airport!! Yes, I am hoping that tomorrow will be better (Read: we can get on the effing Cathay plane already and hopefully, my baggage is not anymore excess!). I am on break at this very moment. Coz my muscles (in the form of fats) and body are aching already! And I don't know what to remove anymore! It breaks my heart that I can't bring A LOT of my favorite stuff! But then again, it kinda makes me happy that I have an excuse to shop!!

Anyway sister, as for the real reason of my blog post dedicated to your TINAPAY-NESS.. this blog is to tell you that a few days from now, I will be going to Shanghai. Yes, it is only for 6 mos. and I have with me my 36 other fellow scholars. But know that we will be in different classes. Meaning, we will pretty much have our own lives separate from each other once we start school in Shanghai. Sounds familiar?? It's pretty much like your condition there in Singapore. Mom told me about your dilemma, yes. And I really intended to write you an email. But my blog will always be here for you to read.. and reread for as much as you want! So, this is really better! Plus, get used to it guys, I will have no FB and YM in China! Sad, I know! I hate it as well!!

Sister, starting out in a different place is tough. It really is. That's kinda like a few years back when mom threw me to go study in La Salle! Remember? I had no friends there. I was in a dorm, alone. Plus, I didn't really know anything about Manila! Except for the trips we have here, I pretty much had a blank slate about life in this city! But then again, I adapted. It wasn't easy, I tell you! And true, there were times I wanted to go back and just run to the comforts of home and of life back in Naga (until now actually, from time to time, believe it or not! there are times when I just wanna go back and leave everything I've put up for myself here!) but NO! because I knew.. and I write this in caps to emphasize, THAT IN WHATEVER DECISION WE MAKE, BE IT GOOD OR BAD, WE NEED TO STAND UP FOR THAT DECISION. IT MAY NOT ALWAYS BE FAVORABLE FOR US, BUT WE NEED TO MAKE IT FAVORABLE TO US. THAT IS ALWAYS THE CHALLENGE THERE! Actually, that is always the challenge in our lives. And trust me, once you are able to that, you will feel so much happiness and accomplishment! And later on, when it all fails, just remember what mama always tells us, that Naga is always our last option. Well, it should be. Because there will always be a life there waiting for us!! But you see, that's not really in the picture here because while Naga will always have a special place in our hearts and will always have special opportunities for us, DO KNOW that the world is always out there for us to conquer!! Yes, sister!! We were not only meant to ROCK ASIA, but also Africa, North and South America, Antarctica, Europe and yes, let's not forget Tazmania Devel, er, I meant Australia!! Sounds conceited?? but yeah.. coz my life is always about ME! The same way your life should ALWAYS be about YOU! ABOUT STANDING UP FOR THE DECISIONS YOU MAKE!!

So now you ask me, how do you do that?? You make friends, yes you can. You shop, you can also do this. But most important little sister, is that you explore. Go out and familiarize yourself with the place. With SG. You say it's boring. But how come most people love it there? That only means something. That only means that there is something there that you still haven't discovered. Go and make friends, yes. But also be okay and awesome alone!! ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT WHILE FRIENDS ARE ALWAYS FUN TO HAVE, OUR MOMENTS ALONE IS JUST AS PRECIOUS, AS MEMORABLE, AS CHERISHABLE.

God gave you a wonderful opportunity other people your age would die for! He gave us all! Do not regret! Regret is what will beat you at this game!

Plan, yes, it's good to have a plan. BUt always, always, be willing to change your gameplan to whatever life has in store for you. To whatever life shows you! Always remember that you don't need others all the time to have a good time. Now, do you see the logic in the way I live my lifE?? You guys call it "aimless" but dude! what's really the point of living a life based on plans if deep inside, you don't get to savor and enjoy each moment in life? If, at the end of the day, you know there's something missing. Where is the challenge when, at the moment you go home, you're dead-tired and beat knowing.. you weren't able to make everything work for your advantage!! That, I say, my little sistah, is the beauty of living a life that is always open to everything. But you know, just make sure YOU KNOW YOUR LIMITS AND BOUNDARIES! YES, ONCE AGAIN, IT's ALL ABOUT YOU!! ALWAYS!!

So mom tells me you're always looking for "happenings" now. She told me that maybe, you feel we're having fun here while you are alone. Well, I don't know if it's true coz Mom, as usual, is freaking out! But I tell you we are not. The only times we are complete are the times you go home here. Yes, "the parents" have pretty much adjusted to their newfound lifestyle. Where, according to papa, "we leave them to explore other worlds for us". True, this is somehow sad that each of us are in different parts of the world. But trust me and believe me when I tell you that.. THE PARENTS ARE PROUD! Your sacrifice in exploring Singapore, my Shanghai, Chesca's weirdo sched, B2's nerdy lifestyle, and B1's awesomeness is making them PROUD!! And, you know how much that means to them, right? Because ever since we were little, they never pressured us to be like this. BUt they always wanted it! Otherwise they wouldn't be the "stage parents" that they've always been.

Do not worry about the "happenings", they will only get better when you have found your real happiness and satisfaction deep inside.

Do not worry about the hardships there, because what doesn't kill you, only makes you a stronger DUDE!

Do not worry about being alone, because.. it is by being alone that you find fulfillment and the chance to get to know yourself better.

Do not worry about being left out in the fam, because I tell you, you are always in the loop! That's why mom's CP bills are way up in the sky!

Do not worry about anything.. coz worrying brings fear..

and once you let fear sink and eat you up,

then boredom and regret comes..

and they're no good company.

coz their only aim is to beat you at life's game!

So now, do you get it already Anipay Tinapay?!? Do you see my point already? coz I have to run in a while and go pack up my stuff. Anytime you need my opinion on stuff (coz you said I'm very opinionated), you know where to reach me. Email me and text me. You're my sister, definitely, I will respond.

So BOTTOMLINE IS THAT NO, I DO NOT SUPPORT YOUR WANT TO GO HOME. IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF THE COST WE HAVE TO PAY. IT REALLY IS NO BIG DEAL. BUT TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU THAT IF YOU DO THAT, YOU WILL REGRET IT SOMEDAY. AND AS YOUR BIG AWESOME AND COOL SISTAH, I DO NOT AND I REFUSE AND I SHALL NOT ALLOW YOU TO WALLOW IN THAT MISERY.

BECAUSE I KNOW YOUR CAPACITIES! AND I KNOW THAT YOU CAN MAKE IT THERE! GIVE IT TIME, LOVE IT THERE! AND YOU'LL SEE.. YOU'LL FIND PEACE!! AND PLEASE!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT TELL ME THAT YOU CANNOT GO WITH THE FLOW AND THE "TRIPPINGS" OF YOUR CLASSMATES THERE! BECAUSE SOMEHOW, I HAVE THIS NOTION.. THAT AS THE DAUGHTER OF "THE PARENTS", IT IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!! DUDE!! PEOPLE COME AND GO IN THE FORM OF DIFF. FORMS IN THE HOUSE!

By the hoo, did you ever know that it took me 1 year to realize my misery in being in Manila, 2 years to get over my nega feelings for Manila, 3 to learn to love and explore this place, 4 to feel like a Manileno, 5 to learn how to live it up here, 6 years to really be happy in this place, and 7 to feel the need and want to search for a new place to explore because I feel so sick of this life already!

So what you're feeling now, is normal! Someday, you will want to explore another place. Once you've successfully gotten over this whole SIngapore bruhaha, then, that's the time you'll feel much more CONFIDENT to go ahead and pursue your IVY PLANS!

Think about it man! how can you live it up in the States with your Ivy plans, if this lil stint of yours in Singa is just gonna beat you this early?!?!?! So NO!! DO NOT LET IT BEAT YAH!! Pull a Michael Jackson sister!! You know, "just beat it.. beat it.."

xoxo,

Achi.

it's official!! i want..

It's OFFICIAL NA!! I WANT A NEW PHONE!! And I am sooooo eyeing the BLACKBERRY!!

I promised myself that I'd get myself a new phone after I get myself a new lappy! but that didn't happen coz I had no budget!! My SPONSOR didn't wanna give me a new one coz she doesn't think I need one and even THREATENED to take away my bestfriend MASTER away from ME!! OH NO!! SERIOUSLY!! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT MY BESTFRIEND, THE MASTER!!

So since it's Ash Wednesday today, I thought that yeah.. I should have some sacrifices.. new pledges.. whatever you call them really!! And I want you all to know so that I can be ashamed of myself if and when I fail!! So for this season my new pledges will be that:

1. I will not drink softdrinks anymore. Except on special occasions maybe.
2. I will not eat meat, junk food, and chocolates. Except maybe when it's really unique in CHina. and..
3. I will loose 30 pounds after my whole China stint so I can be back to my 2008 weight!!

Oh yeah!! and if in the end of my whole Shanghai stint I am able to do all these.. then, I'd get myself a new BB!!

For now, I am bringing with me to Shanghai my bulok phone who usually gives up on me.. read: it hangs, it conks out, it suddenly disentangles itself!! But who cares?!? pwede na sya.. coz I heard there are lots of pickpockets there.. and with my bulok phone with me, hwag naman sana but they can have a blast!!

seems like..

seems like the universe is telling me something! seriously!!

and that something is no other than the fact that life is indeed short! This is, of course, a fact each one of us have always known since time immemorial. A fact I've always known. A fact I realized more so last September when dada died after just 1 month and.. just a while ago when mama faced the same problem (well, almost the same prob.) with sina papa last year.

You see, earlier today, Auntie Coring died of pancreatic cancer. And it's just so nakaka-sad because Auntie Coring was Lolo's sister who was always the gracious one. She was the one who always wanted to have a Cheng clan reunion. In Manila, this is the Cheng clan reunion we would always go to. Hers. As was the case last Dec. when she hosted a sort of Christmas get-together for us. We, as the representatives of our parents of course, were always the ones present. Because.. mom said so!

So this afternoon we had a dilemma re how to break this news to lolo. You see, Lolo's health is not very good anymore. So when mama and Aunt Aida learned about Auntie Coring's condition last month, they decided not to tell him. I agreed. Coz Lolo is senti, emotional.. he can't sleep properly esp. after Pacpac died.. he once said, he can see his dead friends and brothers.. calling him, playing mahjong with him.. If your Lolo was like that already, would you even bother telling him such heart-breaking news about his sister???

UNtil this afternoon when Auntie Aida told mom the news that Auntie Coring was very sick and can die na anytime kanina.. we hoped to tell lolo tomorrow this news once we arrived in Manila. Thinking, what is one more day right? Coz Lolo and Lola were really Manila-bound tomorrow anyways because we were supposed to have a get-together (party) on Sat. But of course, and I think, that this recent event totally changed everything. That was supposed to be a 2-day party. Now, how do we break the news to Lolo??? Lola is tulala until now!! What to do, what to do..

I am not particularly close with second cousins and relatives.. Sometimes I remember them, sometimes I bump into them without even recognizing them and without remembering their names even! I am nakakahiya, I know. But with all the parties I go to (because I have to represent my mom), I have learned how to love them too and enjoy their company. Auntie Coring's passing is indeed sad. A big loss to all of us. I guess, now, we won't have anymore parties to go to in that house of hers. I will miss the bonsais.. and the little what-nots..

I feel what sina CHris could be feeling right now. Coz I had 1 month to stay with dada and it really hurt. And moving on was hard because of the time span. Papa is just learning how to move on once again, Dodo is still trying to pick up the pieces, we have not even tried going back to Dada's room.. because going to her house is like feeling her presence all over again. So nobody dares try enter her room. We can go but only until the sala of her room.. not yet her room, room. Chris and their fam had a little less than a month.. So I can just imagine how terribly, terribly sad this whole thing is for them.

So there you go.. another death in the family. Another reminder that LIFE IS SHORT. How can I even afford to waste even a minute of my life???

Valentine's Day.. Love!

So after Steph went to Singapore, it usually takes a while for our family to be together all over again! Esp. this year when she's kinda busy and can't really go home all the time like she used to! So for this Valentine's, she came home as it was also CNY holiday in Singapore.. and we came to Manila to meet her. For the weekend. Before we all head home!!

Timing, is, of course, perfect! as this is also my second to the last weekend in the country before I go study in SHanghai! Plus, it's VAlentine's Day people!! Yeah, we do celebrate CNY but only when we're with the whole mom clan! And this year was not one of those years!!

So we decided to eat somewhere nice.. as we didn't have any prior reservations in the buffets we love around town, plus, since we came from Greenhills where Steph met up with her friends.. we decided to check out Mr. JOnes or Chateau.. and since it was Valentine's, mom preferred..

Chateau 1771!! because, she said, may ambience!! the love ambience!! Yey!!

Food was, of course, great!! and the service was also cool!! The waiter was... FUNNY but NICE!! So, Chateau, you are now definitely one of our favorite places to dine!!

Way to spend the Valentines with the fam!! Oh yeah.

13 days..

that's exactly what the note in my phone says..

13 days!!

means I have exactly 13 more days before I go to Shanghai.

My emails now discuss our departure,

updates say that everything's there already!

People talk.. and they talk about the things we need to bring.

Obviously, everyone's excited!

I used to feel excited about this trip too!

Shanghai, I thought,

what wonderful adventure you would really be!!

But earlier I just watched Breakfast at Tiffany's..

and then thought about my forthcoming trip..

I felt sad.

Why? Idk too.

But I figured, it must be that the movie hit something within me..

free-spirited, wild things.. are we really??

or really, are all these efforts to escape the need to face and accept reality?

is it really an adventure, a search for oneself..

or merely just a way to wander around..

while still refusing to stay put,

let other people in, and just..

just face the music!! and genuinely accept what life has for you.

Oh Shanghai!!

I am SERIOUSLY counting the days!!

Feb. 23, 2010..

16 days more.. and Shanghai,

HERE WE COME!!

Obviously, girl is excited!! Despite what happened recently which got me REAL pissed, my excitement is once again back and that's a good thing!!! I am DEFINITELY excited to:

study..

go to places.. see The Bund, Paris of the East.. and of course, the shops!!! and..

I don't know how I'm gonna go about this, but.. but.. but.. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HOPE that I can go to places like Tibet, Russia, Korea, and kung pwede, Japan na din!! coz lately I've been hooked on Jap cookies and chocs!! ;-)

My only wish is that when I come back, I will be back to my December 2008 weight!! and not the one before that!! dahil ayoko na bumalik sa aking nineteenkopong-kopong days na weight!!

staying away from it all

you guys know me..

seldom do i express my views..

seldom do i get pissed or even mad..

dorm mates tell me ,

"kei, how come i've never seen you mad?"

friends often say,

"naku, pag si keisha na ang galit, iba na yan!"

and I ALWAYS tell them,

"because if it's not important to me,

then what is the point of even getting mad?"

Yesterday, I once again had to learn my lesson the hard way. Expressed my views and opinions on some matter (perhaps too much I guess) which in the end, just left me tired and all weary.

So today is a new day, at least for me. I just wanna forget it all and stay away from it all!!

Today I am tired of drama!

Today I am tired of even caring for things that doesn't really concern me.

Today, I just don't wanna read my mails. Coz I don't want to have anything to do with it.

Today is the day I realized that I have been right all along in taking my previous position in this particular something.

So that from today onwards, nothing (re this matter at least) can affect me anymore. This way, I will be happier and can truly have and live the best time of my life!

So people, I am signing out of this drama. Staying away from it all.

I can watch you,

support you,

join you,

and so much more..

but nothing re you can ever affect me anymore!