one week and then..

there are some things I will always remember..

there are also some which I don't remember..

and some, I just don't want to remember.

Today I went to mass after months of not going to mass. In Shanghai, I think I only went to mass for around 2 or 3 times. One was during Lent, second was when Anton's lolo passed away, and the third one was when we just wanted to go hear mass to start the day right before going shopping in Huaihai Zhong Lu.

My mass was special today. The priest was very lively, I liked it! SO MUCH, in fact. Instead of just forever staying behind his podium during his homily, he got his special mic and walked in the middle, down the steps, near the audience. It became as if like he was just telling us a story. Mass was actually lively, interactive. At no point did I feel sleepy or bored. Which is, of course, good. I just wish all priests would be like this. Especially because the Father said that what he was doing was actually not allowed! C'mon guys! This is actually what can once again motivate people to go and hear mass.

While in mass, I got the chance to reflect on the things that's happened to me over the past few months. So yes. I realized that, in those 5 lovely, lovely months, there were things I would love to remember forever. Random things that'll forever be a part of my memory. People I will always treasure. People I'm really glad that I've had the chance to meet and form really close relationships with. People and experiences who taught me a great deal about life.

However, where there are good things such as those I mentioned above, there will also be those which we just would like to learn from and try our best never to bring up again or even think of. Experiences we are not very proud of, things we wish we could undo. People we wish we can FO in our lives, and the people whom we wish we could've had more time to spend with and really get the chance to know.

As I start anew with my life now back home, this was what I realized. That in Shanghai, I really did find friends whom I know will forever be my friends. Friends I will be proud of. People I know will be with me through thick and thin. Come hell or high water.

But I also made friends with some wrong people. People with the traits I don't really like. And yet have no idea how I became friends with in the first place. Someday, sometime, I hope you realize too what it is that is wrong with you. For your sake, for everyone's sake.

As I prayed and said my wishes earlier in mass, I realized that I am tired of lingering in the memories of the past 5 months. August is my birth month after all. Guess I am allowed to at the very least, sort my life, pick up the pieces of the past, and yes, start anew with right people that I met in one of the most unforgettable experiences of my life.

So to whoever you are that I am having doubts with as of now, I hope you know that I am giving you a week. And then I am following in Em's footsteps..

This is the start, the beginning of my new post-GBF life.

Loveleh, loveleh.. the adventures that awaits me!!

the end of July.

Hulyo is almost coming to an end. And August is soon to come!!

So many birthdays, so many plans.

Today is actually the birthday of Coco Ronald:

"happy birthday koks!!! no gift for yah coz ang dami mo daw chix?!? hmpf."

also, of AJ:

"Happy, happy birthday love.. i loooovvvvvveeeee yyyooouuuuuu!!" haha..

I wanted to go home for the parties, trust me. But my bossing said: "don't go home anymore." which reminds me that this coming July 30, is also the birthday of my BIG BOSSING!!

"Happy, happy birthday BOSS!! Love you, love you! but you know that! Stop na being crazy, you're ooollllllddddiiiiieeeeeee!!"

Soon August will come, and it's gonna be moi birthday! Tha is, after the birthdays of so, so much more plenty people!! Am nalilito na!! And I sooooo wanna go home for these series of parties that's sure gonna happen back there in moi hometown.. but then I remembered, am on a diet pala!! ARGH.

the GBF after-effects..

have been home for almost a week now.

and until now I still haven't completely met up with friends I left here.

have been busy hanging out with family, and what would you know,

GBF friends.

So earlier we toured Tim and Christine around the city.

They're among those foreign friends we got who decided to come visit.

Hanged out with RG, Renee, and Fred.

The last time they were here, we were with Ritchie and Desi too.

Hanged out and watched Equus even after they left.

And as we were talking we realized,

how GBF has really, completely changed our lives

in one way or another.

People who had work and didn't give it up for the program,

came back and started picking up the pieces.

People like Fred and Allan who had family businesses to go to,

tried to look for work before deciding to go back once again

to their family businesses.

Those who had to quit their jobs for the program,

are now, like me, in what we can call a limbo state.

a state where you're just usually home,

waiting to find the right job.

Undecided people like me,

are still waiting for the job we want,

comtemplating what it is that we really want.

But i guess the biggest take away that I've had from GBF,

was the opportunity to gain so much friends,

meet so much people from diff. backgrounds,

cultures, and nationalities,

with different stories and experiences to share.

Friends who will eternally remind me of the culture we learned together.

Friends who will be with me in my journey from now on.

Real, life-long friends whom I know, will always be there for me

no matter what.

This was the most important thing I got from GBF.

especially because, I am one who doesn't like people..

who make promises, but never fulfill them.

people who talk the talk all the time,

but never really walk the walk.

people who do nothing but make people wait for them,

and yet never deliver.

I HATE ETTTT!!!

140 days of Shanghai

I am back in sweet Pinas. Back home, back to everything I left behind.

After 140 days of Shanghai and how Shanghai practically changed some stuff in my life as well as in me, I asked myself, "will I ever be the same?"

Sometimes a part of me just wants everything to pick up where I left and make everything go on as if nothing happened. But at times like this, at times when I'm all alone (more like I'm the only one still awake at home), it makes me think too, makes me really think.. how can everything be like how they used to be??

A part of my life was changed. So was a part of me. As I struggle to make everything go back to how and where they used to be, I once again have to keep myself busy, busy, busy! Also, to surround myself with friends both old and new.. friends whom I know will not, will never, ever forget me no matter what!! Friends whose friendship goes beyond 140 days.

my last night in Shanghai

tonight is somehow like my last night in Shanghai as we need to head to the airport tomorrow at 9 PM to catch our 12:30 AM flight back to Manila.

Up till now I can't believe that I've been here for 5 months already! Shanghai has indeed, become a huge part of my life. It changed me the same way it changed each and everyone's lives in the program.

A classmate asked me earlier, "is there any chance you're coming back in Shanghai?" and that's when I thought about Mom's offer to stay for yet another term. Too bad I turned it down. Why I turned it down, I also don't know. But now I feel like I regret it. Wasted opportunity. But I do know that I want to study yet again. Where? I don't know, just somewhere exciting. Study what is another question I still have to figure out when I return in the Philippines.

All of our plans for tonight was cancelled because of the bad weather and also because of the delay in the scheduled pick up of my balikbayan box! I don't know but packing is such a tiring thing!! Somehow, stuffing my closet and shelves with stuff was really a lot more easier then emptying all of them to send back home!! Now I feel some kind of separation anxiety with my box. Just a few hours and I already miss it! But it's okay coz it's coming in right before my birthday!! Yey!!

Lots of stuff come to mind as I go back home. Biggest of which is what I am gonna do when I do go back home. I feel like there are so much more adventures and journeys in life I wanna take and yet being in this program also makes me feel that at one point, I have to stop, grow up, and face reality. Because whether I like it or not, no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, there's no escaping it. Being in the GBF Program and people made me realize that this is what I need to do soon.

7.11.2010

It's 6 in the morning of the 12th of July already and i just got back from Windows Scoreboard. Two, three days from now, I am, we are, all homebound. Everyone seems busy already with their last minute shopping trips for pasalubong, revisiting the places they wanna see once more before we leave, having lunches, dinners with friends old ad new. Later in the day, I am supposed to go to the Expo one last time to use my last remaining ticket. And yet here I am, restless. Partly because my hair is still wet. Partly because there's a lot of stuff in my mind right now. So I guess it is time to once again, update my blog.

A lot has happened. A LOT.

This particular entry is so entitled simply because I will never forget this date. Or at least I don't want to forget it. I stayed in the dorm all day long few days before I leave so I can pack my stuff. And yet, they're still everywhere! They're still all around me! My room is one big mess right now!!

Later in the day, we also met up with Cheng, Tiff V., Eds, and Pinky at Windows Scoreboard (yet another memorable place for me). I went at around 11 with RG and Anton because we still had to fix up and all. Good thing we arrived before 12 midnight as they started charging cover fee come 12 midnight. You see, we were there to watch the 2010 FIFA finals game. And yes, Viva Espana!!

I was never a fan of sports in general. But soccer, I like. Because of: 1. David Beckham, 2. Derek Ramsey and 3. Simply because it's such a huge thing here! The game is quite interesting so why not?!?! Especially with all those hot, hot, players!! As in this case, I was originally for team Netherlands because I have friends from Netherlands here in Fudan. But after seeing all those Espanols, especially David Villa, I decided to change allegiance! And that was when they won the championship!! SO.. VIVA ESPANA!!