words from a friend.

I met up with a good friend a few days ago. he just came from China where he is currently based. It's his holiday now so he made sure to stop by the city to say hi to everyone. In one of our talks he told me, "you know those friends who just remembers you because you're here, Keish? like you'd be out of their minds when you're not around? well, it hurts." I say, probably.

Not that I actually experience this all the time but somehow I feel that I can relate. You see, here goes the story. And I am guessing that my thoughts on this matter is pretty much in this story.

I have this friend who I thought was really close to me. We were practically best of friends. I can honestly say, that among my friends, he is among those who truly knows who I am. He can probably tell you the things I like and don't like. The things that irritate me most as well as those that can make me high. All my complexities, he understands. But a few months ago, even I got tired. Tired with always being the one to remind him to keep in touch. Tired with always being a friend for a friend who wasn't and can't always be there. Just plain tired.

And yes, it hurts. It hurts that I feel like I wasted so much time investing on this friendship. Hurts that I feel like wanting to keep the friendship when others have given up a long time ago. Hurt that sometimes, I just don't know what to believe anymore. And I keep reminding myself that maybe, just maybe, it is still worth that one tiny bit of effort. But as the cycle continues, I get tired like all the rest of the gang. And yet, I am still here. Doing my part as your friend.

So now I realized that my other friend was right. It is indeed tiring. It hurts and it sucks. That we have to find these friends in life. That we cannot help but include them in our everyday prayers. Hoping, wishing, that someday, he will realize just how hurtful his actions are. Someday, indeed, someday.

Things to be thankful for from 2010!

I am restless once again as I lay in our hotel room in Paris. It is cold, very cold in fact. And somewhere inside me, these past days, I have been feeling the urge to write something. Something about my past year as I have always done so in the past.

2010 was indeed one of the best years I've ever had. From the lessons I learned, to the opportunities I got, and the people I encountered in life. They made me truly grateful. And so, I list, the things I am grateful for last 2010.

I am thankful for GBF.

In 2009, I joined the GBF program and I knew that it was gonna help me grow up. Perhaps, the impact wasn't that much yet last 2009 as I had to go through something else that which made a bigger impact on our lives that year, but from that moment on, I knew that having found my new GBF friends, was a big factor why I was able to move on from that experience immediately.

I am thankful for my newfound GBF friends.

I am thankful they welcomed me as me. I am thankful I welcomed them in my life. In GBF, I've found friends who are truly for keeps, I've also found some who continues to teach me life-lessons every single day.. and some, who taught me that some things we just need to learn through experience.

I am thankful for Shanghai.

For friends I've found. The love I learned. The experiences I gained. As well as new stuff about myself that I discovered while living abroad, I am truly grateful! Shanghai changed a whole lot of game in my life, and it will forever leave its mark on me. This, I am absolutely sure of.

I am thankful for the travel opportunities.

Traveling has always been an interest of our family. Somehow, I feel that it is what keeps us together. We may spend the whole year living our own lives in different parts of the globe, but in the end, this makes us realize that family is and will always be family. And nothing will ever change that. No experience, feeling or what-nots can ever replace the joy of just being with one another and spending days filled with laughter and yes, petty fights!!

I am thankful for the everyday love I get.

From family, from friends, from strangers, to random people I barely know. This makes me believe all the more that it's a wonderful world we're all living in!!

And finally, I am thankful for so much more things I cannot write them all here!! This year, I truly learned a lot. And while others might say otherwise, I feel that I've grown too and matured as a person!

Last 2009, I learned so much about family and friends. 2010 was all about me!! I learned so much about myself.. I think, I wanna go down and discover this new discovery. Thinking about it, it's truly amazing how everything's falling to place. From 2008 when I resigned from my job to go and search for myself, to 2010 when I've finally seen tiny parts of who I am. Hopefully, 2011 will be about discovering these parts to give me a clearer picture of who I truly am.

Thus, for now.. I go and will continue to live everyday by my fav. mantra.. to live each day as if it's the last day. Live life dangerously. Take risk. Never be afraid!! Live without limits, as long as you know the extent of what you can and cannot do! In the end, you can only hope to learn from all these as you go along the way! After all, we are who we are. Young and carefree!!

So 2011, let's bring it ohhhhnnnnn!!!!! :))