till we meet again!

AYOKO NA TONG BLOG NA TOH!

MASYADO NA MARAMING NAKIKIALAM.

GUSTO MO MAG-BLOG, GAYAHIN MO!

DI YUNG NAKIKIALAM SA BLOG NG IBA!

~BYEBYE BLOG. TILL WE MEET AGAIN~

Nakakaloka!

Nakakaloka ang Divisoria!!

Because we are our own purchaser, alam ko na kung saan mahahanap mga supplier for various stuff!! YES, AKO NA!! KAMI NA!! Ikaw? Kaya mo?!?!?!

First day:

Searched for furnitures!! Walked the whole lot of T. Pinpin! Come lunch time, Tom Jones na talaga kami ng major major level.. so we asked a Chinese man (who was on his phone) where we can go to eat.. or if he knew Serenity. He said: "baka Sincerity"! And we were like, "ay! oo nga!! Sincerity!!!"

So we found Sincerity and ordered like there was no tom.!! At the end of our day, we realized "Oh no!! di ata tayo nagbayad for lunch!!" Shocks!! Sabaw much?!?!

Next we found ourselves awed at Nueva!! Office supplies but ang pinaka-happy stop namin dito was... Holland!! Angs sarap na ng stock sa bahay!! YES!!!!

Then books.. Merriam Webster. Ang mura, ang dami.. pero para naman kaming negrita sa dumi!! Wooohooooo!!!

Di ko kinaya! When I arrived home, tiis-gutom ito! Ligo muna!!

Second day namin, mas kaloka!! Divisoria itoh!! At kargador pa ang drama!! Used na used ang energies, ang boxing (for Jen), ang Forma (for me), at lahat ng pinagkakakain namin!!

Third day... saan naman kaya kami mapapadpad?!!?

FAIL.

FAIL. MAJOR FAIL!!

It has almost been a week since I last visited dr. Ian Cua for my weird sickness! And one of these days, I will be done with 1 of the 3 antibiotics he gave me!! BUT until now, I still haven't followed him with the bawal na food!! ANG HIRAP NAMAN KASI PAG FOOD NA ANG PINAG-UUSAPAN PALA!! Ok lang bawal lahat e, hwag lang food! Kamote!!

But in fairness to me, may effort naman!! Such as:

I haven't had any chocolates (kahit na crave na crave nako!)

I haven't had my coffee (given na coffee addict ako!)

at kung anu-ano pa!!

Hirap kasi whenever we're out having meetings at kung anu-ano pa!! San naman ako kukuha ng fresh food na hindi fatty?!?!?! Sige nga!! hmph.

my 2 week suffering.

I ended up going to the doctor earlier like what I promised mader. So even if I was feeling super lazy (partly because of the bloated-ness that I've been feeling the past few days), I dragged myself out of the house and off to St. Lukes (mukhang fav. ko na talaga itoh na tambayan!).

Waited almost an hour for Dr. Cua but ok lang dahil bongga sya!! This is the first time a Dr. greeted me with "Keisha.. o kumusta ka naman, girl?!? Anu bang nararamdaman mo?!"

And in fairness, he even paused for effect and looked at me (with a serious look) when he asked: "did you ever do drugs?" When I said no, he said: "no history ever with bawal na droga?!?" Doc naman, mukha man akong addict bec. of my pale-ness and achuchuchu, NO talaga! Only addiction is caffeine (oh, which you ordered me to stop taking first!).

And this is where my life started to suck! Bec. ang daming bawal, and ang daming gamot! At syempre pa, dahil pa-goody-goody effect ako (partly dahil afraid lang ako talaga sa nangyayari sa akin), I wanna follow doki!! Thus, the reason for my blog.

I wanna come up w an everyday diary of the things I will eat so as to see that I will not disobey!! Bec. I have a HUGE tendency to disobey him! Understatement pa yan!! Kasi naman! binawal nya lahat ng favorite ko! hanubayan!!

Proof: After St. Lukes, I went w Che Jems to the grocery kung saan naloka ako sa assortment of cookies and chocolates na available.. BUT, almost everything I looked at/wanted to buy, e BAWAL!! So I told Che Jems: "baka naman ine-echos lang ako ni Doc sa mga bawal na food na yan! joke lang naman siguro yan! baka wala naman talagang effect!!!" Being the nurse, Che Jems looked at me with a bad fez and said: "pag-tyagaan mo yan! 2 weeks!!"

So fine!! eto na!! today is the start!! I cannot wait for Mar. 17 to come na!! WISH.ME.LUCK!

why I'm a lucky girl

Dear Parents,

Tonight more than ever I realized just how lucky I am to have you both!

I am not the perfect daughter. Truly, I am not!

As a matter of fact, I am very far from being one. Far fr. being the ideal.

But always, always, you understood us just the way we are.

Life with you two is not without it's glitches.

But compared to others, it is very minimal.

Expectations are high, yes, they are.

But they are always in the context of where we will be happy.

Of what we want and where we wanna go.

It was never about what you wanted us to do!

It was always about us.

In times like these where it is truly hard to find oneself,

still you trusts that we know.

That we know where to find ourselves and like what you always say,

that we will know when something is already too much.

When something is not anymore right.

When we have reached and exhausted our limits!

Oftentimes, most of the time, almost always in our decisions,

we exceed our limits.

make decisions you don't agree with.

play a deaf ear on what you say to follow what we want instead even you disapprove of it.

And yet you are always there, ever so understanding.

Like as if nothing happened. Though very hurt inside.

That's why tonight I wanna tell you just how much I love you both!

And I swear, this blog has got nothing to do with my previous entry about not having clothes anymore! I just truly feel lucky!! :)

my 13 Shanghai angels.

They say the best things in life are free! And that life won't be as fun as it is without our friends!! I cannot agree more! When I first arrived in Shanghai, I missed my friends back home.. and the habits we've gotten used to.. So basically, Shanghai was new to me. I was looking for my comfort zone, the people I can be me.. the ones who I will be most comfortable with.

It's quite funny how after the whole Shanghai stint, people would tell me, "o, you have lots of friends fr. Shanghai?" and I would reply, "yeah.. but the ones close to me are just very limited." Then they'd ask, "really?? how limited?" and true enough when I counted and actually thought about it, hindi din pala masyado!! coz I got 13!! haha..

My 13 Shanghai angels! :)

MM!

Amazing. Cute. Superb.
I feel soooo happy I got M. Feeling ko, this girl is my long lost something. From chika, to life stuff, to shopping stuff, we just always, always click! As a matter of fact, the first time I saw her, magaan na agad loob ko sa kanya! SUPER.

Celsius.

Becky. Lover. Bongga-ness.

Then Celsius. This Becky, released the inner Becky in me in GBF. Back home, mom calls me "a Becky magnet". Medyo self-explanatory toh. In GBF, I found one too! Hooray!! The moment Ms. Jane transferred me to Xiamen class, I chose to sit beside Celsius and then it was just plain love! In Shanghai, she shared with me her Peruvian grapes as well as lessons in life and in love! I just love it!!

DJ..

Wonderful. Smart. Arteh.

DJ is so arteh and kikay, we're on the same level! haha.. Add to that friends such as RG and Cheng, and we often found ourselves together na talaga!! Oftentimes, we would talk about serious stuff and just plain chika stuff.. DJ is such a wonderful, wonderful girl always full of surprises!! and unexpected talaga at that!

Cheng.

Kulets. Fun. Astig.

Then I got Cheng, my roomie. AFRAID teh! I was real scared of Cheng at first! Turned out, mas loka pa sha sa akin. I am sooo grateful and thankful as in all heavens talaga that Cheng is my roomie in Shanghai. Our dynamics as roomies, are just perfect. She shops, I shop. She goes out, I go out. She's crazy, I'm crazy. SWAK! Match made in Shanghai!

Prim..

Crazy. Serious. Real.

The Matt Damon of my life. Or so he likes saying!! Prim saves me from crazy thoughts, evil thoughts! but also indulges me sometimes. With Prim, it's always about what's crazy and what's practical. He accepts you for you and even helps you realize your strong points and weak points as an individual. Never one to sugarcoat anything, he's my favorite!!!!

Fred...

Honest. Amazing. Lover.

Fred is your go-to guy in travels, in love advice, in life lessons.. practically, in everything there is about anything in life you'd want to know! Once he opens up to you, you'll really feel all the sincerity of this man!! I would forever love you FReddy for entrusting me with your secrets and stories! Let's travel together soon!!!

Desi..

Happiness. Sincerity. Laughter.

Desi is fr. Davao, one of my fav. places in the world! So that automatically qualifies him in my favorite people list! yey!! But even before pa I discovered my new fascination and love for Davao, I really super liked na Desi!! He's just too funny and supportive as a friend, it's soooo hard not to like him. I can still remember how I first super appreciated Des! When he hugged me when Dada died. And I knew fr. that moment that this guy was one I was gonna keep forevaaahhhh!!!!

Anton.

Random. Fun. PAtience.

Then there was Anton. In Manila, we were never super close. But he says that towards the end in Manila, we were close na. So, ok. But in China, Anton was among my closest friends!! He's kind of the one I blame for teaching me how to be sorta practical and in a way, curb my "hoarding" habit. He's also very, very, very much like a dad. He's soooo old-sounding when he gives advice! He also forces me to be decisive on things (which is really soooo hard!) But what's fun about him and what I really liked was the fact that like me, he wakes up late, slept late and was kunsintidor with all my kaartehan and kabagalan!! Hooray!!

Sigh..

Intelligence. Chica. Life.

Pretty, pretty C2 girl with me. Pretty on the inside and out. Smart and sensitive, she's truly one for keeps!! I can always turn to Sigh for just about anything and everything. With us, it's always just about the fun! "let's have all the fun in the world.. just make sure we won't get hurt in the end." On her bday, she gave me a letter I will forever treasure. Oh SIgh, you are such an epic!! A true beauty in one persona!

RG.

Life. Fabulous. Real.

My favorite! Travel buddy, chika buddy, support system, shopping buddy all rolled into one friend! RG!!!!! Anytime of day I can always, always bug him for a favor or a question. He saves me fr. boredom and all those null times of life. He teaches me to be practical while at the same time still being my old self!! That's why I really, really love RG!!!

Allan..

Family. Openness. Understanding.

Well guess what you Allan Ngo, wala pala tayong pic aside fr. this na together! Just how sad is that?!?! di bale sa... Allan is like my older brother in GBF! My long lost older brother!! I trust him with my issues the way he trusts me with his. When I need a guy's point of view on stuff, I can always count on him the same way he goes to me for a girl's point of view. Allan understands that I'm maarte and so it's okay!! yey!!!

Then Pinky and Eds.

TIes. Sensibility. Friendship.

Isa pa kayo girls! I have no picture with you na solo-solo! These girls are my original lovvvvveeesssss all the way back fr. Manila. Very practical and sensible. Very pretty. Hanging out and being with them is always a creative and fun moment!! One of life's best!!!!

wa na ko clothes!! :(

i feel bad.. wa na ko clothes!! i hate it!!!!

A few months ago I told myself: "enough na talaga with the shopping!"

I've got clothes missing (alam ko lang coz among them is my favorite H&M Dan HUmphrey polo I got with M!) and so much more.

Bags I don't even know I have. Bags still in their respective paper bags!

Perfumes still in the boxes.

Make up esp. lipstick everywhere!! As in, in every bag ata!

Accessories I haven't even used.

Clothes overflowing out of my closet and thus, are scattered all over the condo!

Shoes I don't even wear and whenever I do wear them, feels like they're not me!

So, I decided, I will stop na with the shopping! That habit of wanting cute stuff and buying them. Of the want and need to have them!! Of hoarding and all those stuff! Until earlier.. when I felt bad coz I feel like I have no more clothes. Yes, wa na ko clothes!!

I was going for a night out with friends earlier. Just simple, hang-out, hang-out. So not casual, but also not party. Then I realized, "shux! I don't know what to wear coz I don't have anything to wear!"

So yes, on my way to the thing, I felt bad!!!

words from a friend.

I met up with a good friend a few days ago. he just came from China where he is currently based. It's his holiday now so he made sure to stop by the city to say hi to everyone. In one of our talks he told me, "you know those friends who just remembers you because you're here, Keish? like you'd be out of their minds when you're not around? well, it hurts." I say, probably.

Not that I actually experience this all the time but somehow I feel that I can relate. You see, here goes the story. And I am guessing that my thoughts on this matter is pretty much in this story.

I have this friend who I thought was really close to me. We were practically best of friends. I can honestly say, that among my friends, he is among those who truly knows who I am. He can probably tell you the things I like and don't like. The things that irritate me most as well as those that can make me high. All my complexities, he understands. But a few months ago, even I got tired. Tired with always being the one to remind him to keep in touch. Tired with always being a friend for a friend who wasn't and can't always be there. Just plain tired.

And yes, it hurts. It hurts that I feel like I wasted so much time investing on this friendship. Hurts that I feel like wanting to keep the friendship when others have given up a long time ago. Hurt that sometimes, I just don't know what to believe anymore. And I keep reminding myself that maybe, just maybe, it is still worth that one tiny bit of effort. But as the cycle continues, I get tired like all the rest of the gang. And yet, I am still here. Doing my part as your friend.

So now I realized that my other friend was right. It is indeed tiring. It hurts and it sucks. That we have to find these friends in life. That we cannot help but include them in our everyday prayers. Hoping, wishing, that someday, he will realize just how hurtful his actions are. Someday, indeed, someday.

Things to be thankful for from 2010!

I am restless once again as I lay in our hotel room in Paris. It is cold, very cold in fact. And somewhere inside me, these past days, I have been feeling the urge to write something. Something about my past year as I have always done so in the past.

2010 was indeed one of the best years I've ever had. From the lessons I learned, to the opportunities I got, and the people I encountered in life. They made me truly grateful. And so, I list, the things I am grateful for last 2010.

I am thankful for GBF.

In 2009, I joined the GBF program and I knew that it was gonna help me grow up. Perhaps, the impact wasn't that much yet last 2009 as I had to go through something else that which made a bigger impact on our lives that year, but from that moment on, I knew that having found my new GBF friends, was a big factor why I was able to move on from that experience immediately.

I am thankful for my newfound GBF friends.

I am thankful they welcomed me as me. I am thankful I welcomed them in my life. In GBF, I've found friends who are truly for keeps, I've also found some who continues to teach me life-lessons every single day.. and some, who taught me that some things we just need to learn through experience.

I am thankful for Shanghai.

For friends I've found. The love I learned. The experiences I gained. As well as new stuff about myself that I discovered while living abroad, I am truly grateful! Shanghai changed a whole lot of game in my life, and it will forever leave its mark on me. This, I am absolutely sure of.

I am thankful for the travel opportunities.

Traveling has always been an interest of our family. Somehow, I feel that it is what keeps us together. We may spend the whole year living our own lives in different parts of the globe, but in the end, this makes us realize that family is and will always be family. And nothing will ever change that. No experience, feeling or what-nots can ever replace the joy of just being with one another and spending days filled with laughter and yes, petty fights!!

I am thankful for the everyday love I get.

From family, from friends, from strangers, to random people I barely know. This makes me believe all the more that it's a wonderful world we're all living in!!

And finally, I am thankful for so much more things I cannot write them all here!! This year, I truly learned a lot. And while others might say otherwise, I feel that I've grown too and matured as a person!

Last 2009, I learned so much about family and friends. 2010 was all about me!! I learned so much about myself.. I think, I wanna go down and discover this new discovery. Thinking about it, it's truly amazing how everything's falling to place. From 2008 when I resigned from my job to go and search for myself, to 2010 when I've finally seen tiny parts of who I am. Hopefully, 2011 will be about discovering these parts to give me a clearer picture of who I truly am.

Thus, for now.. I go and will continue to live everyday by my fav. mantra.. to live each day as if it's the last day. Live life dangerously. Take risk. Never be afraid!! Live without limits, as long as you know the extent of what you can and cannot do! In the end, you can only hope to learn from all these as you go along the way! After all, we are who we are. Young and carefree!!

So 2011, let's bring it ohhhhnnnnn!!!!! :))